How my life has changed through sickness

Sometimes you hear stories of people going through difficult times, and coming out of them with changed lives. They find God, or realize they need to show more love. In some cases, people totally change their way of life.

But I always said the way I entered my sickness was the way I came out. No change. My reasoning was 2-fold. Firstly, I am a born-again Christian. That has not changed. I had a relationship with Jesus before I got sick, and that’s what helped me get through the hardships of disease. Secondly, a few years before I got sick, I had to deal with a depression and an identity crisis. I took the time then to look at my life and ask myself some very difficult and critical questions. I came out of that accepting that I’m an introvert. This meant I had to find a way to live in a world full of people, and still have ways to recharge my batteries afterwards. Which I did.

And that was that. I got sick, and didn’t change because of it. I didn’t need to. I was fine the way I was.

Except, that’s not true. There are things I’ve noticed that are different, and these things started while I was sick.

Firstly, I’ve grown to love life. I will look for any reason to celebrate something. My blood numbers go up by 0.1, and I say let’s go celebrate. I love to just stare at the sun rise and sun set. I love to listen to the rain. I enjoy just having a cup of coffee, and doing nothing while drinking it. I love taking walks outside, alone, and also with Tessera. I enjoy just playing with my cats. I even enjoy sitting outside in the sun in the afternoon. These are all things I never took time to do. I was always too busy for work, or church. And when I got time off, I’d lock myself away to ‘recharge’ because I had no desire to spend more energy. Now, I don’t mind changing my plans on the spur of the moment, because I get joy out of living.

Secondly, I’ve always had a desire to do something for God. I thought it had to be connected to the church. And it had to fit within my work schedule. So, I basically did skits in church for a while. I would evangelize on Saturdays. And even did the odd creation-evolution seminar. But I never really did what I wanted to. I’ve always felt a desire, a burning, to do something more. Now that I don’t have a job, due to illness, I can actually spend time doing more. That’s why I started the blog. It’s also why I started Science Based Christianity. And its why I started my YouTube channel. It’s a way for me to use the knowledge God has given me to hopefully reach those who are lost, and those with questions. I would never have done this on my own. But since God brought me through the illness, I see that he has also freed me to do His will. Without any excuses.

So, in short, a lot has changed. My life is vastly different to what it was before I got sick. I love the Lord, and I’m still Gert, but I’ve learnt to love life, and have been given a way to do God’s will without the burdens I previously had.